Hogwash! You should see yourself! No beak, so how will you clean yourself, eh? Get hold of food? You mouth is useless for that task! And no down or contour feathers to cover your body, only that weird fuzz on top of your head and sprinkled around your body in weird places! How do you keep your skin dry? Those huge, plump feet with stubby, useless toes, and not even proper webbing between them! Don’t get me started about that sorry excuse for a neck, either! And your arms…. useless flopping things, always all over the place, bending in ridiculous directions in way too many places! You even have an excessive number of digits on it, which makes the tip so fat and heavy. Bah!
Look at me, how well everything is organized!
and then, the way you walk and stand and sit! You’re too lazy to get up properly, most of the time, and waddle along with your feet flat on the ground. Gah! And instead of properly folding your legs under the body when you sit down, you plant your tail-stub on the ground! You’re gonna ruin your tail feath…. oh, OK, you don’t have any. How do your steer, hu?
Even when you stand and walk, your posture is just stupid! Straight down do your legs go, instead of being properly flexed. That’s why you have to hold you body in this absurd position, with the belly pointing forward.
Here, have a look at how it is done properly:
Upright primates! What a ridiculous, misguided accident of evolution!